Madonna-Whore Complex

The Madonna/Whore complex is a term developed by Sigmund Freud through his clinical work with patients. Specifically he noticed the difficulty some men had to the point of having sexual relations with their wife, because they had differentiated women into various identities. One being the virtuous Madonna figure as the protector of social virtue who deplored sexuality, and the figure of the whore lacking morality and driven by sexual desire. These men were aroused by prostitutes and mistresses but not their wife.

Freud noted the madonna/whore complex as phenomena with his clinical patients to the extent some men lacked the ability to be sexually aroused or have sexual relations with their wife.

In general the Madonna/Whore complex is thought to be a problem for men; yet women also compartmentalize women into different categories. The Madonna figure as the protector of social virtue; this pure innocent figure stands in sharp contrast to the figure of the whore. As a result women are forced to identify with one or the other. Unfortunately to some degree most individuals carry around this conceptual dichotomy and men in particular have some idea in their head that the type of woman they have a relationship with is not the kind of woman who is highly sexual. This factor is displayed explicitly when you see politicians who promote social morality having affairs with women they believe possesses something their wife lacks. Perhaps, this is because they made their wife purely a mother (Madonna figure) and neglected the depth of her feminine sexuality.

It’s essential to alleviate this grouping, labeling, and accept the extreme sexual potential in all women, in all types of relationships. It’s essential to get over the Madonna/Whore complex.

Most women, in fact, have likely spent some time cultivating one role or the other which they now associate with their identity. Women fear doing something that would compromise this identity. This is a real fear, and many women have seen other women ostracized from social groups, or socially stigmatized for crossing social accepted sexual norms. This burden weighs heavily on the sexual relationship of both partners.

Most women have developed the notion that crossing these boundaries and initiating sexual promiscuity to be a serious threat and could harm the very essence of their identity.

In general the Madonna/Whore complex for men affects the way they interact with women. Most individuals have some conception in their head of the type of woman they want in a relationship. It’s healthy to know what you want in a relationship, but although women are highly sexual, this will only be cultivated in a relationship if both partners are fully accepting of it. Otherwise the false dichotomy creates internal conflict.

It’s essential to get over the Madonna/Whore complex and recognize the complex social, cultural, biological, and personal factors that shape sexuality. Understand that these factors are fluid and change or over time. Notice if you have a problem with it, and get it handled.

Many women, for example, are aware that other women have been ostracized or socially stigmatized for being sexual. Many women then develop the notion that crossing boundaries, social norms, or initiating sex could be detrimental their social status or personal identity. Paradoxically, many women are also taught they can manipulate or control men with their sexuality. But this is still linking sexuality to identity in way that’s essentially counterproductive.

This is interrelated, because the idea only some women are highly sexual makes a women’s sexuality a type of commodity.
Many men carry some degree of this complex around with them. Even the most open-minded individuals, if you pay attention inside, might notice a residue of this in your life. It’s essential, however, to get over this dichotomy if you really want to take things to the next level.

You should understand that all women have both sides to them. Women are both highly sexual and also want to be respected as smart, sophisticated, professional human beings in their daily life. These same women, however, want a part of their personal life open to exercise an active adventurous sex-life. Far more open and adventurous then many are willing to reveal, because again, to do so could threaten their sense of self.

For women it’s important to maintain respect in their professional daily life. However the vast majority of women also want the other side of things. They want to experience pleasure and exciting sex and will try all the same things most men want. The problem is that most men think the kind of woman you settle down with in a relationship does not have a highly sexual side of them. The kind of women you have fun passionate sex with is the same you can have a long loving relationship with.

Collapsing the Madonna/Whore complex can be fairly unsettling for some men who are uncomfortable because it challenges their whole socially contrived perception of women. But it’s essential to do this and go beyond the socially conditioned perception of women. Men need to do this so they can help guide women through this dichotomy. Many women have actually been, to various extents, traumatized. This might seem like a strong word, but consider that even through school most women witnessed a situation, where a female did something sexual, or there was a rumor started, and as a result this person was ostracized from their peer group or became a social pariah.

They were often ridiculed by everyone around them. Even if this happens sporadically it leaves an indelible mark in the subconscious mind of all women that sexual promiscuity can threaten the core of their identity and social status. In extreme cases you can find situations where girls have taken their lives over these issues. They were teased and tormented simply for being sexual. Often this stress and tension carries on in the subconscious adult life of women who feel fear about their sexuality and specifically expressing their sexuality because the consequences of being socially ostracized, losing friends, and most importantly losing the respect of the people they love. This can create a very intense internal tension in women.

Women are conditioned to believe if they want a relationship with a quality guy, or want to have a strong committed relationship they need to act in a certain way which often generally entails repressing the deeply sexual aspects of their desire. A lot of women choose the good girl approach if they want to be respected, they play a role, and downplay their sexual side.

It’s important for men to take the lead so women can begin to free this part of their sexuality without taking responsibility; though women can and should cultivate a more healthy comfortable internal relationship with their desire and sexuality. The most essential factor is their understanding that sexual desire will not compromise the love and respect of their partner. Generally, this needs to be conveyed over time.

An extreme example of the Madonna/Whore complex in the minds of women plays out with things like rape fantasies in literature. Obviously no woman wants to be raped. The rape fantasy, though, has remained popular in literature, especially in romance novels over the years. You see these novels become more popular in sexually repressive eras such as the Victorian era. The rape fantasy allows women to retain that level of social virtue where they are simultaneously the object of desire and the protector of social virtue. By virtue of being non-consensual the rape fantasy removes culpability and responsibility from the woman.

She’s not an active participant in the situation and therefore does not bear the responsibility. Again, no woman wants to be raped, but what men can learn from this is the importance of leading the interaction and demonstrating confidence. Generally, women feel the burden of social pressure and do not want to take responsibility for the act or initiating, because she’s worried about losing the respect of the man in her life. Because of social conditioning in our culture it tends to fall on the shoulders of men to lead so that women do not have to take responsibility.

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Risk In Teenagers – Why Do They Take Work, Driving And Life Risks? Explanations Here

TO KEEP Generation Y’ers, employers must keep them safe and healthy at work as well as provide for work/life balance, and fun. This is a snapshot statement of how the present young generation think, generally. This has emanated from Gen Y’s negative observations of how their baby boomer and Gen X parents suffered with job insecurity, dismissal, stress and high job dissatisfaction.

Adolescence is arguably the toughest time of life. Getting used to becoming adult is usually a painful transition. Have you ever wondered why teens think and act the way they do? Why they have such a propensity for risk-taking, for instance. Some of the latest research is finding there are tangible, scientific reasons for this. There are answers coming to some of these questions through the field of psychology with focus on brain development through this part of the lifespan.

This article seeks to uncover and de-mystify the issues of brain development of adolescents, so adult members of society (and parents) can at least understand and cater for these issues, providing young people the dignity and respect due them, and making the transition into adulthood as pain-free as possible. What follows this short article are a series of summarised points from research-backed psychological science as at 2006. (Source: Glendon, pp. 137-150, with full reference details at end.)

Remarks and Findings

Adolescents are usually better suited to late night shift work than mature adults, but are not so well suited to hazardous occupations where risk avoidance is essential as they can try to “reason” through the risk and can inadvertently be “bitten” by the hazard, in the process. The “higher road” of thinking is not well developed in adolescents so why do we expect them to reason, and analyse details well? They simply do not perceive and handle risks well. Careful, mature and sensitive supervision is critical.

Teens are often frustrated when required to make decisions based on odds or risk, and tend to do “things” anyway. Adolescents require quality, close supervision and mentoring for specialised tasks. If this is not forthcoming, they will have accidents and injuries.

Hormonal changes account for most of the brain development problems and must be managed, even into the mid- to late-twenties. Gender differences are marked-girls are between 4-6 years ahead of boys until the late 20s. This fact presents a myriad of relational problems between the sexes.

Novelty seeking, sensation seeking and risk-taking behaviours in teens can all be explained by the way the brain develops-it is not just about personal choice.

As far as driving is concerned, it is important to discourage young drivers from driving with more than one or two peers in the car at a time. With every extra adolescent passenger the risk of a crash is increased. Young male drivers’ risks for crashing whilst taking sweeping bends are higher than all other age and gender groups. Parents are critical role models for their teenagers in regard to driving behaviour-particularly the same-gender parent. If a father behaves inappropriately on the road, the teen son is likely to repeat it. It is the same for mothers and daughters.

In the working context, we mustn’t give adolescents more than one thing do at a time; for most, complex work routines and procedures are a set-up for failure. More mature workers tend to set the tone for workplace culture and adolescents often simply conform to that culture. No matter how good the safety systems are, if the culture allows for adolescents to take risks, they will take them.

It is easy to discount young people as being “careless and carefree,” the truth is they can’t do much about how they’re “wired,” and the development curve they’re on. The fact that they can’t employ effective thinking and decision-making regarding risk as well as adults needs to be sensitively addressed, because most teens are characteristically independent; they want to be treated as adults. As adults we should do as much as we reasonably can to keep them safe during the intermediary years, whilst respecting them in ways that shows value for their ever-increasing capacity to relate as an adult.

© Steve J. Wickham, 2008. All rights reserved Worldwide.

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Bullet points of (referenced) summarised actual data:
When young people are already engaging in one risk-taking behaviour, other risk-taking behaviours are more likely to follow.
There are three levels of brain development. 1) the corpus striatum or “reptilian brain,” which is responsible for routine and instinct (movement); it develops earliest. 2) The limbic brain is the “seat of emotions” (feeling) and develops next. 3) Neocortex or cortex-which accounts for 80 percent of brain volume-is the last to mature and is involved in (thought) reasoning and complex “higher road” thinking. For this reason, McLean (1949) proposed three brain development “streams”-movement, feeling, and thought.[1]

The cortex is the “executive filter” assisting the lower centres, and is used in discerning response.
“Limbic system circuits are relatively fixed and can powerfully affect our (thoughts) cognitions.” (Glendon, 2006, p. 139).
The longer (but preferred) route of cognition is via the “higher road” or cortex. It’s involved in more detailed, factual analysis of things, events and situations.
The cerebellum (responsible for posture and movement) is the oldest part of the brain and continues to grow well into the late adolescence.[2]

Young male drivers (17-19 years) have significantly more risk of crashing when negotiating a bend than male drivers of 30-39 years of age, and females of the same age.
The hippocampus has connections with both limbic structures and neocortex has a vital “role in integrating emotion with cognition”-feeling and thought. (Glendon, 2006, p. 139).
Melatonin peaks later in the day for adolescents as compared with children and adults could explain why they prefer to go to bed later and wake later. This means teens and young adults probably cope better with shift work generally than do mature adults.
Because the right ventral striatum is less active in adolescence, teenagers are more driven to risky behaviour because reward-seeking is suppressed, and not the motivator it could be i.e. the reward for staying safe.
Teenagers are more frustrated by a decision-making gambling task (“probability matching”) than children and adults because the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex is not fully matured until the mid-20s.
Young people might be able to “see” as well as adults but they cannot perceive risks as well because they’ve yet to develop the higher level (cortex) cognitive interpretive functions.
Young people appear to engage in “extended reasoning” in risky situations which is paradoxically not good because it’s a time when instincts should come into play. Adults are “more likely to create a mental image of possible [injurious] outcomes.” (Glendon, 2006, p. 141). Furthermore, the extended reasoning produces a longer response time, when a visceral response (gut reaction) would suffice.
The brain changes anatomically in a marked way between the ages of 18 and 25, explaining in part why insurance companies have “under 25 clauses.”
Gender differences in brain development are marked. “Girls’ brains develop faster than boys… the typical brain of a 17-year-old boy resembles that of an 11-year-old girl.” (Glendon, 2006, p. 142). Using another measure: brain myelination, there is a 3-4 year gender difference in favour of females. Using this measure, men’s’ brain development does not “catch up” to women’s until the age of 29.
Whilst there have been a number of cross-sectional studies done, there have been very few longitudinal studies[3] and there is a need for this to be addressed.
Full brain maturity for both genders is said to be mid- to late-twenties; in the meantime, the “brain is being driven by hormonal changes” and behavioural safety issues due to this need to be managed. (Glendon, 2006, p. 142).
“Brain systems controlling arousal, emotional experiences and social information processing become much more active at puberty.” This explains why we see “increases in novelty seeking, sensation seeking and risk-taking behaviours” in teenagers. (Glendon, 2006, p. 143-44).
Road crash data suggests that the risk of a crash increases with “each additional member of their peer group as a passenger.” (Glendon, 2006, p. 144). This means that parents should try and set a limit on their teens driving with only one or two peers in the car. Perhaps four or five teens in one car is asking for trouble?
Peer pressure is still a significant issue for people until around age 25 due to frontal lobe immaturity.
Multi-tasking functions are not perfected until young adulthood. Young drivers are even more susceptible to accidents when using mobile phones, CD players etc while driving than adults are. Adolescents should be given only one task at a time until it is shown they can cope with more.
“Preventing exposure to a hazard” is likely to be the best way to protect young people, workers and drivers. (Glendon, 2006, p. 144). In other words, close attention should be paid to protecting, and providing for, the safety of young people in hazardous environments like roads. Supervision controls are appropriate and preferred.
Parents are critical role models for their teenagers in regard to driving behaviour-particularly the same-gender parent. If a father behaves inappropriately on the road, the teen son is likely to repeat it.
In the working context, more mature workers set the tone for workplace culture and adolescents often simply conform to that culture. No matter how good the safety systems are, if the culture allows for adolescents to take risks, they will take them.

Key Reference:

Glendon, I., Brain development during adolescence: some implications for risk-taking and injury liability, in Journal of Occupational Health and Safety: Australia and New Zealand, 2006, 22(2): 137-150.

Footnotes:

[1] Jones, Joseph M. (1995) Affects as Process: an Inquiry into the Centrality of Affect in the Psychological Life (Contributor Joseph D. Lichtenberg, 268 pages, The Analytic Press, Hillsdale, New Jersey and London) pp. 62-63.

[2] Goodburn, Elizabeth A., and Ross, David A. (1995). “A Picture of Health: A Review and Annotated Bibliography of the Health of Young People in Developing Countries.” Published by the World Health Organization and UNICEF. The World Health Organization quantifies “adolescence” as from ages 10-19 years.

[3] Longitudinal studies typically involve following a cohort group for 20-30 years, and are obviously rarer in research circles as compared with cross-sectional studies as it is hard to keep track of the same group of individuals for that length of time.

Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified Christian minister (GradDipDiv). He is also has training and leadership Diplomas. His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve’s interest in psychology is matched by years of experience in the psychology of safety in workplaces. Steve’s key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us. An advocate for a fair and just life, Steve implements wisdom strategies to his life through a passion for Proverbial wisdom. A former youth worker, and a father of three, Steve’s passionate about the development of the kids of today. He’s had extensive experience also in teaching and leading children’s programs.

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First Date – What to Do?

If you have a crowd of fans looking for dating you, then you do need to waste your time reading this article. But if not, maybe you have something to learn from this article, which provides some of these tips on what do and not to do on a first date.

What to wear?

Unless you have to go to the Monte Carlo Rose Ball, you should not exaggerate. The Coco Chanel’s saying “Take off something before going out” is till true. If you have a dinner in a quiet place, do not overdo. Do not over dress. If you like very short skirt, avoid sexy shirt. If you are not used to high heels, there will be another time to do some practice, but not at your first date. If you go directly to your date from the office, without going home, refresh yourself at the bathroom, which does not mean to use deodorant and a good perfume!

Forget your former partners, this is your first date.

Talking about former partners at your first date is irritating and depressing. Are you asking me why ? It highlights a sad reality: you are obsessed with your past. The person in front of you will get bored and you will miss him. Instead, ask questions about what he likes to do, to eat, to read. Look for common interests.

Do not need to lie to gain his trust.

Do not lie on your age. If you are 38 years old, do not say you are 28. If you are a PA, do not say you are an executive. It will be not nice if after some time he realizes that you lied, you will lose his trust. Some other tips, do not discuss about political, economic topics, of the current crisis and your problems at work. Do not talk about diseases. This is a quite sad period, and people are looking for happiness and fun. So enjoy your date and have fun.

Talk about you but also listen about him.

If the person sitting at the table with you is dating you, it means he wants to know you better, know more about your interests, ideas, and your personality. He does not want to know about something he already knows quite well, such as the recent trends of the stock market. He does not want to know about the love relationships of your colleagues, he wants to know about you. But do not exaggerate, spend time also to listen about you and show interest, ask some questions.

Do not drink too much.

At your first date, you should not drink too much. This does not mean you can drink a nice glass of good wine, but you should not get to the point that you forget the name of the person sitting at the table with you. If you do not drink alcohol, this is not the time to start to do so. You can also have fun and enjoy your date without drinking.

Forget your blackberry or your cell phone.

Your cell phone rings, what to do? Answer but do not spend all evening talking at the phone. If your mother calls you, tell her to call you later. If your blackberry receives a message? In this case, it is better to not read it, usually emails and SMS are not urgent, and you can read them later.

Offer to pay the bill.

Even if the man should pay, there is nothing wrong if she tries to offer. But your gesture should be spontaneous and you should not show that you are paying because he does not want to or even worse because he forgot his wallet at home.

Do not go to his apartment at the first date.

The hunting instinct is predominant in all men. Moreover, his thoughts supported the theory that men were thrilled off the ‘chase’ and were innately driven to hunt and kill. But we did advocate that it was the ‘chase” which was more pleasurable when measured against the kill. So you should let him chase you but do not kill at the first attempt.

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What Drives Kids to Extremism and Radicalization?

In light of what has been going on around the world from the mass shootings in the United States and the terrorists acts in Europe and Middle East to young kids committing horrific acts of violence and joining terrorist organizations, I thought it would serve a good purpose if I posted my Take on what is driving all these good people and young kids to these extremes. Though, I have to make clear that these are only my thoughts and beliefs and this is not a research paper. This article is not about guns, gun control, or any political topic. This article is meant to explain my Take on these situations and others like it.

In the recent years we have all witnessed or heard the unbelievable acts of violence and mass shootings in the United States. From the Aurora shootings where 12 were shot and killed and 58 others injured to the horrific shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown where 26 innocent children and adults were gunned down, there is no denying that there is a clear break in the system. A break where someone can get to the point of seeing no other way than killing other people before killing themselves, to get out of whatever issue they are dealing with in their lives.

If we look closely at the shooters in these killings, we can see a clear trend. Harper-Mercer: Oregon shooter, 26; Abdulazeez: Chattanooga shooter, 24; Roof: Charleston shooter, 21; Rodger: Isla Vista shooter, 22; Zawahri: Santa Monica shooter, 23; Lanza, Newtown shooter, 20; Holmes, Aurora shooter, 24; Loughner, Tucson shooter, 22; and the list goes on and on. There is a clear and shocking trend in the majority of the mass shootings in the United States. The shooters are young people, especially males, in their 20s and 30s, and are lonely and unemployed. Of course, there is no denying that some were suffering from mental illness. I am not discussing the medical aspects here, I will leave that to experts in mental health who are more qualified to comment on this than I am.

Recently, the threat of ISIS and ISIS inspired attacks around the world is all we hear on TV, radio, read on online blogs and etc. It is even a major part of the 2016 United States Presidential primaries. The threat of being attacked by the terror group, and the thought of teenagers and the youth fleeing the Western countries to go abroad to join the group to fight for their “cause”, is too much to handle.

But what cause? What are they talking about? What is it that they think they achieve by killing innocent people or by joining a terrorist group? What makes them even think about doing any of these, knowing they will get killed in the end. What drives them to what I call “insanity”? What enables the perpetrators to be able to so easily brainwash them and to radicalize them? What makes some individuals more susceptible than others?

More often than not, I hear people in the media blame these impressionable youths. Yes, I completely understand that if someone shoots and kills 14 people, they are to blame and that justice must be served. I understand that completely. My heart is with the family members of all the victims of all of these horrible crimes and I cannot possibly understand what they must have gone through. But what I am trying to get to here is, what if we step back for one second, and instead of just blaming or explaining things with mental illness, think about what might have driven the kids to the level that they thought they had to find an alternate option… Maybe if we look at things in this manner we could find a way to prevent these tragedies from happening in the future, or reduce the likelihood of their happening.

When I was a child, I was taken to many different parts of the world, thanks to my father’s cabinet position in the ministry of energy and natural resources. My sister and I were taken from country-to-country, continent-to-continent, from the day I remember. From Germany, to China and then Japan, to Iran and Dubai to Cyprus to Canada. I have been places. I have great memories and bad memories of my childhood going from one country to the next.

When I was 7 or 8 we had to move to Japan for a long-term oil and gas project my father was working on with his Japanese counterparts. Because of my young age, I was forced to go to an all-Japanese school, whereas my sister got lucky and ended up going to an English school. I cannot speak for my sister, but I do recall my own experience in school when I spoke absolutely no Japanese and they spoke no other language than Japanese. As much as I love the Japanese now, I did not have the best experience then. I was always lonely, got beat up by other kids, got humiliated, got ganged up on, singled out and had no real friends. I ran from school so many times that my mother had to come to school, stay there in the hallway all day to make sure I did not run away from school. God bless her for having the love and patience to do this all day everyday for 3 years, probably with no food most of the time.

I felt extremely lonely, and at that young age I did not feel like I was liked by people around me. I spent hours and hours in front of the TV playing video games, being alone, and just to myself (sound familiar?). I was so quiet and lonely that I did not see a point in talking to others, because I did not think I was gonna be liked or heard anyway. I was more than willing to be part of a group, any group or find someone who was willing to be my friend, at any cost. I was most susceptible to being harmed or radicalized, but thank God that this is a 20-some-year-old story, when the world was a much safer place to live in.

Some kids are by nature quiet, shy and introverts. It is hard for them to communicate with their peers, to join them, to be friends with them. They get bullied the most in schools, get discriminated against the most and have the most amount of fear when it comes to life and society. Some go on to become difficult aggressive kids that cannot be controlled even by their parents, rebels that damage everything they find. Some, like myself, try to find ways to find a friend; someone who accepts them with open arms. Boys or girls, they all want and need comradery, love and friends. They all want to belong. They want to feel equal.

For example, when I saw other kids talking about certain cartoons and TV shows, I was more inclined to watch them and forced myself to like them so that I could be a part of the conversation in school. I was so willing to do whatever it took to have a friend, to be embraced and liked by my peers that I just walked around and listened to what people were talking about, and I tried to fit in, somewhere. A couple of years after when I moved up in school and was in around grade 3 or 4, I came across a more religious group and I was immediately drawn to them, because their message was “You are welcome with us, you belong”. I went to become a deeply religious young kid, who worshiped God religiously and participated regularly in religious worship sessions and groups.

When I left Japan and moved to Middle East, I was still in grade 5 and it was a major culture shock, again. I had to go to a transition school where I could speak the language well enough to participate in regular schools and learn the culture again to be a part of the society. There were many kids from almost every country in the world, except… Japan. I was the only kid that came from Japan. I was lonely and miserable, again, ready to do whatever it took to be accepted, to have friends.

I went through middle school and high school very much the same way, no friends, most of the time alone, a rebel. I spent all of my breaks alone, sitting in a corner, eating a sandwich or a piece of fruit that my mother had packed for me, looking at other kids with their friends, in their groups laughing, playing and having fun, trying to figure out what was it about me that drove people away.

I was not good at talking to guys or girls. I really wanted to talk to girls, but I rarely had the courage to even say hi. This bothered me the most. I always saw other kids going out with girls after school… and I never got a second look from anybody. I felt desperate. I felt that there was something wrong with me…

Attracting and talking to the opposite sex is arguably the most difficult part of anybody’s life. I had so many issues talking with girls, even when we were just playing games. I could barely ask a girl out and keep a relationship afloat for more than 2 weeks.

Growing up, I was taught to care about my education and my studies the most. To do nothing but study. This is the extreme opposite of not paying attention to your child and letting them do whatever they want. I was not allowed to socialize with girls, all fearing that the relationship with girls would slow down my studies and would hinder my opportunity to get good grades.

I cannot express how important it is for kids and youth to spend time and interact with the opposite sex. The kids that are not able to talk to or have a normal relationship with their opposite sex are are a higher risk of getting drawn to the extremes. There has been many sitcoms, Married with Children, 8 Simple Rules, etc. in which the father kicked the guys wanting to date their daughters out of the house with the fear of the guys trying to take advantage of their daughters. Being a man, wanting to have a daughter one day, I can totally understand why some go to the extremes. If we teach these behaviors and prevent a clean, respectful relationship between boys and girls, we are contributing to many psychological disorders that can manifest itself later on in a child’s life. Of course I am a strong advocate of a fully supervised relationship between boys and girls.

Every person I became friends with drove me to doing something they enjoyed. Whether it be watching certain cartoons, playing soccer, damaging people’s properties, etc. I just knew I needed to belong.

Would I have been a great target for extremist groups? You betcha. Religious groups, extremist groups have come to understand the nature of the beast, really well. They understand the psychology of loneliness and the need for belonging. They include positive messages filled with hope and beautiful nature of having a group that you belong to, having someone you can call a friend. They put a friendly face on when they make advertisements, they include images of them laughing, being friendly to one another, eating in a group, all those nice things we all want to have. On the surface, they offer what lonely individuals lack and want. If a young man or a woman sees an opportunity to belong and they are at their wits’ end, what could possibly stop them from actually joining them? Nothing.

Now, I am in my early 30s, educated and successful, and live in the best country in the world, in the best city in the world with my family and have great friends all highly educated and successful.

I am very happy and thank God that in my rebellious and those years my blood was filled with an overshot of testosterone, I did not cause any damage to anybody. However, I must admit I did cause many damage to properties, mainly my parent’s car and their belongings. I have done and said many things that I am not really proud of to my father, mother and especially sister, and if I could take them back or turn back time and do it all over, I would do so in a heartbeat.

When I read the stories of these young men and women who commit horrific crimes, kill innocent people and themselves, or join terrorist organizations, I see beyond the surface; past what most people see. I see the real frustration, the real desperation that drives them to the extreme, to do whatever it takes. Reading the posts and watching the videos these young people make before they go on their rampages, beyond a reasonable doubt tells me that they are where I was when I was a kid. I can clearly feel the void within, their sadness, and their desperation. I feel their anger and their constant questioning of why, what is wrong with me, why doesn’t anyone like me.

But, who is really responsible here? Are the kids to blame? Would you blame a kid that is radicalized and joins ISIS, for example? As hard as it is to say and I know I may get a strong opposition to this, I say no. I say the kid is not to blame.

So then, who is to blame then??

First, and foremost, I want to blame the parents. Yes, I understand that includes my own parents. Kids are supposed to get love, attention and feel as if they belong, in the family. Troubled kids, more often than not, lack this in their families. Their parents do not act in a manner that shows and teaches the kids the value of love and belonging. This could be a direct result of the parents being too busy and preoccupied with work, or not being present in the child’s life or not taking an active role in the child’s life. Or, it could be that the parents are separated and the child is missing a strong role model in their lives.

I know some parents might argue that they need to provide food and shelter for the family, that they need to work long hours, or work 2 to 3 jobs to be able to provide for their families. I hear you and I understand you. But you have to understand, your job as a parent is not just to provide food and shelter. Your job is to provide love, care, affection, food and shelter.

If the children do not learn the sense of belonging from an early age, within the family, they are going to suffer throughout the rest of their lives. If they don’t learn how to interact, how to talk, how to behave, how to deal with other people, in the family, they will suffer from low self-esteem, from anxiety, depression and many other issues in their lives.

One thing that the Western societies and cultures are known for is the weak family bond. These days every child has a TV in their rooms, a computer with internet access in their rooms, they eat separately in their rooms, they have very little interactions with their siblings or parents, they do what they want, when they want. What is wrong with this picture? Nobody talks to each other! All that the kids learn is loneliness and whatever it is on TV, which more often than not, violence and risky behavior.

What we as adults, and as parents, fail to do is to create a Family. We rent or buy a house, have kids and call it a family. But it really is not. A family is more than just a couple of people that have sex and kids that are the results of the sex, living under the same roof. A family needs love, affection, deep respect and care for every member. A family needs to spend time together. Parents need to spend quality time with their kids, go for a walk, hike, rent a couple of tandem bikes and go for an hour of bike ride, go camping, create a culture of love and togetherness in the family, show your kids what the meaning of belonging is, invite their friends over, give them a chance to socialize and connect outside of the pressure of school and competing groups.

What is interesting to me is that, we somehow, magically, find time to spend time with our pets, take them for a walk, get them the best food we can but when it comes to our own flesh and blood, we fail and we let them be on their own.

One thing I really enjoy seeing when I deal with parents that get involved in family sports is how the kids laugh, enjoy and have fun when they do something with their parents. The joy in their laughter, the spark in their eyes is truly priceless. You don’t need to take up a new sport, spend hundreds of dollars a month to do this. Buy a couple of badminton rackets or a soccer ball, a football or a basketball… all you can pick up from a store that is probably 5 minutes from where you live, under $10. Play with your kids, let them look forward to something to do with YOU after they do their homework, let them look forward to doing something with YOU after you get home from work and you should look forward to doing something with YOUR kids that makes them happy, that keeps them engaged, that teaches them the power of the family. Show interest in their daily lives, in them, in what they do, in what they want to become, be encouraging, they are YOUR children. Show them love.

In closing, I want to emphasize a few key points:

I, personally, do not believe that the kids that are driven to the extremes are to blame. As people, we are social beings, we need to socialize, we need to belong, hear and be heard, love and be loved. If we do not get these from our families, especially at a young age, we look for alternative sources to provide us with our emotional needs. It is very similar to quest to satisfy our hunger. If we do not get enough food to eat through proper channels, there is a good chance we will commit a crime, steal food, hurt someone, just to have something to satisfy ourselves with.

Extremist groups understand this very well and they monetize on this by sending warm and welcoming messages to the vulnerable. They create images of what it would be like to join them, images filled with laughter, joy, belonging and friendship.

I believe it all starts in our families. We need to create a more loving, caring and fun environment for our kids. We need to spend time with them, to love them, to listen to them, to do things with them. If they get these from us, they have no reason to look elsewhere for them.

That was the Coach’s Take for this week. I hope that this provided a basis for understanding the problem and hopefully a foundation for preventing the youth from engaging in crime and extremism.

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Astrology in the Counseling Session

A person’s natal astrology chart provides a cornucopia of information that can be aptly applied to coaching and therapy sessions. The chart may provide a type of roadmap of the personality that can suggest pertinent conversations and direction for a productive session.

During the intake interview, an Ephemeris is consulted to quickly access the natal astrological chart information. The Ephemeris is a book, providing a compilation of astrological data concerning each day for the entire year, decade, or century.

Although there are no claims to absolute, unfailing accuracy, from a person’s astrological chart one might discover the following tendencies:

• Basic personality

• Communication styles

• Learning and thought processing

• Approach to values, finances, money and spending

• Favored subjects of interest

• Career choice and direction

• Relationships with mother and father

• Emotional make-up and reactions

• Compatibility with others

• Spirituality leanings

When working with hypnotherapy clients, it has been quite helpful to look at their charts. You may want to focus on the five planets closest to Earth. Their abbreviated meanings are as follows:

• Sun – Will, ego, drive, willpower, ambition, constitution. Sun, together with Mars, may give indications of the relationship the client has with their father, or with the husband in a woman’s chart.

• Moon – Emotions, subconscious, dreams, imagination, sensitivity, inner personality, romantic tendencies, addictions, cycles. The Moon, together with Venus, may indicate the relationship the client has with their mother, or with the wife in a man’s chart.

• Mercury – Communication, thinking processes, expression, approach to learning, memory skills, creativity, susceptibility to trance, approach to structure.

• Venus – Values, handling of finances, appreciation of art and beauty, spiritual and religious tendencies, vanity, capacity for love. A man’s ideal of a woman, and his views of his own ‘feminine’ side. A woman’s view of her feminine attributes

• Mars – Energy, drive, aggressiveness, career choices, sex drive, action. A woman’s ideal of a man, and her views of her own ‘masculine’ side. A man’s view of his masculinity.

Five Planets in Twelve Signs These serve as guidelines only and need to be considered in conjunction with other data.

Aries – Fire. Ruled by Mars. March 21 – April 19 Leader, risk-taker, energetic, courageous, aggressive, extrovert, egocentric, impetuous. They learn by trial and error. Optimistic, sunny personality, strong attraction to challenge and danger. Impatient, don’t think before acting or speaking. Willing to explore new methods and means, as long as it appears to be an adventure. May visit your office seeking help with direction, focus, follow-through, sports performance, or anger issues. Imaginative, eager, uninhibited, possibly immature, and will want to get to the point.

Moon in Aries – Thrill seeker, fearless, impetuous, flit from one interest to another. They will be aggressive with the opposite sex as well as passionate. Their lover will need to be challenging and never dull.

Mercury in Aries – Great leadership qualities, with difficulties finishing what they start. Easily bored. To the point. Loves a challenge.

Venus in Aries – Impulsive with their money, not particularly religious, yet passionate about their beliefs and in relationships. Flirtatious. In a man’s chart, he will be attracted to athletic, courageous and challenging women.

Mars in Aries – Mars is at home here, where he can express his force and energy. Aggressive at work, may choose career in military, police or anywhere there is risk and action. Athletic. Quick temper, yet equally quick to forget it and move on. In a woman’s chart, they will be attracted to men who are heroes, leaders, optimistic, and exciting.

Taurus – Earth. Ruled by Venus. April 20 – May 20 Steadfast, loyal, stubborn, possessive, values-oriented, and patient. Demand quality in exchange for hard-earned money. Sensuous, with artistic taste and abilities. Introverted, quietly intense and materialistic. Their energy feels solid, immovable. Often stuck in a rut, or unable to see new possibilities. Will likely be more kinesthetic than visual.

Moon in Taurus – Faithful, romantic, artistic. They take their time giving their friendship or love, and when they do, it is forever. Can be obstinate and possessive. May present difficulties in handling change or a break up of a relationship.

Mercury in Taurus – Slower to learn new subjects, yet have remarkable retention. Learn best by doing and feeling. Stubborn. May seek assistance in expanding their horizons and seeing new possibilities. Possible depression.

Venus in Taurus – Venus is at home here where she can express her sensuous and artistic nature. Deeply romantic, loves art and the finer things in life. Self-indulgent, materialistic. In a man’s chart, he will desire beautiful, elegant and calm women.

Mars in Taurus – Stubborn, hard-working, practical. May choose careers in labor or finance, and possibly get stuck in a rut or unwanted situation. Smoldering, sustained anger when aroused. In a woman’s chart, she will be attracted to a romantic man, who is steadfast and capable of providing financial security.

Gemini – Air. Ruled by Mercury. May 21 – June 20 Excitable, energetic, clever, witty. Change their mind, or avoid decisions because they want it all. Quick mental activity, which can send them spinning. Trouble sitting still and may panic if told to relax. Let them fidget while going into trance. Geminis may be visual and auditory. They are natural candidates for Parts Therapy! Talkative.. You may have to control the intake session or you may never get them into trance.

Moon in Gemini – Indecisive, intellectualize their emotions. They want it all, and may have many different love affairs. Can be superficial, not having patience to go deeper. They come to you for help in figuring out what they want in life.

Mercury in Gemini – Mercury is at home in Gemini, where it can express its mental activity through communication and writing. Talkative, quick-witted, humorous, and excels at trivia. Motivated by curiosity. They may seek relief from inner confusion and indecisiveness. Quick reactions and mentally versatile. May be ambidextrous.

Venus in Gemini – Restless and fickle. Enjoy music, reading and writing. Many purchases are returned to the store, or kept in disinterest or unused. May dabble in many philosophies or religions. May need help with loyalty, follow through or development of sensitivity and romance. In a man’s chart, he will enjoy many different kinds of women, or needs to find one that is mysterious and changeable enough to keep his interest.

Mars in Gemini – Active, nervous, quick responses. Forever youthful. Shows manual dexterity, and prefers careers which offer a variety of tasks, and intellectual stimulation. May become a reporter, writer or work with children. In a woman’s chart, she will enjoy men who are intellectual, witty, humorous and active.

Cancer – Water. Ruled by Moon. June 21- July 22 Maternal, nurturing, domestic, introverted, homebodies. Dislike change or moving from their residence. Moody, dreamy, intuitive, and sensitive. Caretakers and enablers. Hard to penetrate their protective shells. Vulnerable, easily hurt, and have great capacity for empathy and compassion. Lean towards either visual or kinesthetic – or both. Great imaginations – which can also be turned against themselves in fear, guilt, and worry. They have tremendous memories – again, for better or worse. Feed them when grumpy!

Moon in Cancer – The Moon is at home here, enjoying this emotional, dreamy locale. Psychic, moody, emotionally vulnerable. They are hard to get to know, as they will not let people get close until they prove they will not hurt them. Then they may smother them with affection and attention. Family ties are important. May have eating disorders.

Mercury in Cancer – Excellent memory, good at history. Love to collect and may be a hoarder, or keep cluttered spaces. Sentimental, they are attached to home and objects. Detest change or moving. May need help letting go, or with depression.

Venus in Cancer – Collector, possessive, fear of loss. They have difficulty letting go or moving on. Seek relationships and situations that offer security. Intuitive. In a man’s chart, he will be attracted to someone that is maternal, domestic, and unpretentious, or reminds him of his mother.

Mars in Cancer – Tenacious, domestic, insecure. Prefers working from home or in an industry related to housing, real estate, and interior design. Needs a push to make career changes. In a woman’s chart, there is attraction to a man providing mental, emotional and financial security.

Leo – Fire. Ruled by Sun. July 23 – August 22 Creative, dramatic and willful. The Sun luxuriates in Leo, radiating its full glory. Generous, boisterous, love center stage. Ambitious with an element of laziness. Love to dominate, control, and can’t imagine not getting their way. Natural talent magnetizing people to them, getting the attention they crave. Fun loving, enjoys humor and the finer things in life. Problems with self-esteem issues or when under-appreciated or disrespected. Very visual and imaginative.

Moon in Leo – Generous, loyal, and egotistic. They love falling in love, and will be demonstrative, romantic, and dramatic. Status conscious and snobbish. Issues of rejection, disloyalty or abandonment.

Mercury in Leo – Conceited, egotistic, creative, and imaginative. May have grand schemes and be overly optimistic. Frequently exhibit an attitude of superiority or a need to have mental domination. May need assistance in learning to play well with others.

Venus in Leo – Ostentatious, dramatic, flirtatious, and expressive. Can be very generous and demonstrative of affections. Loves luxury and expensive or showy accessories. In a man’s chart, he will want the most popular woman, a glamorous arm piece, or a woman who is ‘high maintenance’.

Mars in Leo – Natural leader, tending towards domination. Self-confident, possible gamblers. Prone to temper tantrums that will appear childish in an adult. Prefer being the boss in any career choice. Possibly self-employed, or engaged in work with children. In a woman’s chart, she will want the most popular man, and yet be loyal, generous and playful.

Virgo – Earth. Ruled by Mercury. August 23 – September 22 Analytical, rational, practical, and critical. Good workers, caretakers, and pay great attention to detail. Champion of hygiene, and have scrupulous morals. May need treatment for obsessive/compulsive behaviors, insomnia, anxiety, and worry, with some tendency towards hypochondria. They will want to elaborate on the details of their conditions, meticulously quoting resources and doctors’ findings. Hyper vigilant, and possibly challenging to put into trance. Try separating the ‘part’ that is analytical. Give it the job of observing, while the rest of the client experiences the session. Promise the ‘analytical imp’ that its valuable observations will be requested at the end of the session.

Moon in Virgo – Caretaker, worrier, analyzes their emotions. Will want to know exactly where they are with their partner, labeling and analyzing every event or word. They will be dedicated and reliable. Have the opportunity for considerable personal growth, as they will take responsibility for things that go wrong. May need assistance with self-blame and guilt.

Mercury in Virgo – Mercury is happy in Virgo, where it can turn its mental activity into practical application. Analytical, with attention to detail. May complain of insomnia due to worry and a racing mind covering details that may be forgotten by morning. Anxiety and sexual dysfunction issues may surface during a session.

Venus in Virgo – Frequently disappointed when others don’t demand the same high standards that they expect of themselves and others. Will examine every detail of an item before purchasing. Very good taste in clothing, art, and decorating. A need for cleanliness and hygiene may turn to hypochondria, compulsive behavior, or phobia. Keeps meticulous financial records. May have phobia issues, or sexual dysfunction. In a man’s chart, he will be attracted to purity and innocence, as well as a slender, conservative appearance.

Mars in Virgo – Prefers employment involving details. May be an accountant, banker, or medical personnel. Honest, and worried about pleasing others. Takes responsibilities seriously. May seek help with anxiety, nervousness and obsessions. In a woman’s chart, she will be very fussy about her suitors, demanding the highest standards in all details, from looks to mannerisms. She may become overly critical within a long-term relationship.

Libra – Air. Ruled by Venus. September 23 – October 22 Balance, fairness, kindness, partnerships. Relationships are vital to their well being, feeling unbalanced and single-minded in their quest, until they have found their other half. Like to be liked, and have a good sense for creating pleasantries in their environment and within relationships. They enjoy cultural activities and romance. Librans will be well groomed and act appropriately. Going out of their way to not offend, they typically center on relationship issues, and feelings of being under-appreciated and over-extended.

Moon in Libra – Romantic, artistic, even-tempered. They want emotional stability – no roller coaster relationships for them. Can be self-indulgent, and manipulative. May seek help in dealing with emotional turbulence.

Mercury in Libra – Fair, tactful, indecisive, artistic. Good mediation skills. Artistic, poetic, kind. Indecision may lead to missed opportunities and mental paralysis. Try Parts Therapy.

Venus in Libra – Venus enjoys its home in Libra, expressing taste and culture. Sense of beauty and balance. Refined, enjoys cultural affairs. May choose a career in decorating, design, personal grooming, or art. Needs affection. Will choose a religious affiliation based on that of their family of origin, their partner’s, or the community acceptance. May be unable to make a large purchase due to fretting over the pros and cons. Work to enhance their creative visualization, and strengthen their self-esteem to overcome co-dependency. In a man’s chart, his preferred mate will be beautiful, refined, elegant, and even-tempered.

Mars in Libra – Strong desire for relationships and partnerships. Good looking and mild mannered. Detests disputes. Frequently becomes a mediator even among friends and family. May take careers in artistic pursuits, cultural events, law and justice, or matchmaking and family counseling. Often paralyzed in decision-making, they may seek your assistance in choosing which path to take. In a woman’s chart, she will be driven by her need for relationship, yet only be happy with a man who is attractive, gentle, refined, and attentive.

Scorpio – Water. Ruled by Pluto. October 23 – November 21 Dynamic, intense, controlling, emotional. Loyal as long as you are on their good side. They enjoy research and are fascinated by the motives of others. Secretive, guarded, and suspicious. Watch for vindictiveness, revenge or control issues. Have a dark and lusty side to them, and can be driven by sex and money. There is an aspect of sentimentality that is only shown to their closest allies, and those people will benefit from Scorpio’s fierce protection. Scorpio clients may try to out-analyze you, and can play manipulative mind games to avoid the scariest parts of their soul-searching. Control may be more important than Truth. They may exhibit kinesthetic and psychic abilities, and they have learned to trust their gut reactions.

Moon in Scorpio – Passionate, controlling, intense. Possessive, they will demand strict faithfulness from their partner, but may justify their own extra-marital affairs. They can be tactless, suspicious, and explosively emotional, while guarding their true feelings as closely kept secrets. May need assistance in issues of rage, phobias and possible criminal contemplations.

Mercury in Scorpio – Analytical, suspicious, phobic. Has the mind of a detective or a criminal. May belittle others’ ideas, and jockey for mental domination. They trust their hunches, and analyze other people’s motives and weaknesses. May seek help for phobias, anger, trust issues and difficulties in communicating. They make great psychoanalysts.

Venus in Scorpio – Sensual, intuitive, sexual. Tastes are black and white – they love and hate with a vengeance. They will be secretive about their financial affairs, yet very astute in gaining wealth. Jealous and possessive of people and things. Can be motivated by one-upmanship. A woman may have a strong sexual appetite, and a secret ‘leather and lace’ fetish. A man with this configuration will want a sexually permissive woman, who has a dark and lusty side.

Mars in Scorpio – Ambitious, power-driven, and controlling. Very astute in financial accumulation. Beware of a vindictive nature. If they sense disloyalty, they will cut off their affections and never forgive. Strong sexual urges in a man’s chart. They may need help with passive/aggressive behaviors, anger and control issues. In a woman’s chart, she is attracted to the sexually aggressive ‘bad boy’, and may have masochistic tendencies.

Sagittarius – Fire. Ruled by Jupiter. November 22 – December 21 Philosophical, religious, spiritual, uninhibited, and hungering for knowledge and education. They consider themselves to be intellectuals, can be opinionated, and frequently speak it as they see it, without filtering their words for bluntness, sarcasm or insults. Talkative and energetic, they happily engage in mental stimulation, sports, and outings in nature. The typical “Sag” loves travel, and the universe is their playground. For these folks, rules are to be broken, and fences are to be jumped. They rebel against limitations, possessiveness, and boundaries. They may be visual and auditory. They frequently arrive in the office seeking enlightenment and self-improvement. Their partners have complaints about the lack of attentiveness, romance or commitment offered.

Moon in Sagittarius – Freedom loving, limitless, and unbounded. Impetuously jump into affairs of the heart, staying only if they are completely sure they are free to go. When the love affair is over, it is over – no sentimentality, no going back. Frequently, prefer foreigners as life partners, and will not mind a long distance relationship. May turn to mysticism, religion or philosophical pursuits, and look to a hypnotherapist for facilitating enlightenment.

Mercury in Sagittarius – The quest for knowledge makes them the perpetual student. Typically receiving high levels of education, with interests in philosophy, religion, law, and foreign affairs. Will come to your office seeking self-improvement and explorations of their inner universe.

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Chiropractor – A Health Care Invention

A chiropractor is defined as a health care device with a professional touch for the diagnosis and intensive treatment of neuromuscular disorders. Their emphasis is on neuromuscular disorders, especially spine.

Most of the chiropractors are used as a pain reliever for the patients. That is why it has been given the title of being an alternative medicine to the subjected treatment.

Chiropractors firmly and honestly believe in the kind of relationship that developed between our nervous system and spine, this does not come as a surprise as we have already mentioned that the major area of focus for the chiropractor is the spine.

Here is the listing of few of the benefits received from Chiropractic health care

1. A great boost for stress reliever

It is a well known fact that too much of stress will always result in a bad outcome. Neither is it good for health nor is it good for our well being. When our nervous system moves out a bit from the track and our skeletal system seems to have shaken off from their proper position, there are very high possibilities that your entire body will feel out of balance as well. This is what will lead to stress in your entire functioning of the body. Here is when the functioning of a Chiropractor comes into use. It helps in balancing that stress and your body is immediately made to come back to its normal balance. Once you are made to adjust to this functioning you will feel much more equipped to manage this stress if it happens to arise again.

2. Posture perfection by Chiropractor usage

By using this chiropractor over a considerable period of time, these chiropractor adjustments can help in the alignments of the spine and brings a noticeable change in your posture. This is distinctly helpful when it comes to aligning the curve on your neck. As soon as you get into your working in an office phase, you have to spend hours after hours in front of a computer. Due to this from a very young age, people are seen to be having neck issues. If you continue a regular and dutifully maintained use of the chiropractor, you can improve your body posture in no time.

3. Moods are taken care of automatically

When with time your body gets adjusted with the working procedure of the chiropractor, your entire body gets balanced. The entire chemistry of the body is brought back on track. A lot of people who have not had the best of luck in chemical balance gain a lot from the chiropractic care. Depression which is a very serious mental condition also sees an immense improvement in the moods of the sufferer. So you see how a chiropractor is creating wonders in your mood related cases as well which are in a way related to the functioning of your entire body.

Thus we provide you with a gist of all that you can mainly expect from the usage of a chiropractor. It is efficient and it is useful and it is interlinked with many a thing’s improvement.

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Calamine Lotion Benefits

Calamine lotion has been around for a long time and was always used in the medical environment. Obviously, it isn’t as strong as most antiseptic chemicals but it is a lotion that prevents itching.

Calamine lotion can be used for various treatments which include damaged and itchy skin. When skin gets damaged it will get itchy because the cells are breaking and tearing apart. It may sound painful but the itch is what really gets to you. And who can resist scratching an itch?

Coming into contact with poisonous plants is common when camping or spending the day in a garden. These are plants that use poison as a self defence mechanism to save themselves from being cut or eaten. It’s also important to know your allergies as some people may have allergic reactions to certain plants. The calamine lotion can help to soothe the burning feeling and prevents any breakouts at the same time. This will help heal the rash and infection quicker in a painless way.

Baby skin is very sensitive to most surfaces including their nappies. The calamine lotion can help to heal the nappy rash or anything of the sort without burning your child’s skin. Keeping the rash as soothed as possible will make your child more comfortable.

Insect bites are common in any area of the world. These bites could also be slightly poisonous (in certain cases) which causes itching and inflation on the skin. Applying calamine lotion to the bite will soothe the wound and assist with the process of ridding the body of the harmless poison. Please remember that certain insects can also be dangerously poisonous and you should be aware of which insects and spiders can harm you greatly. Most insects that have many bright colours are often associated with high toxic levels.

Calamine lotion also assists with stretch marks and broken skin that occurs during pregnancy. There is nothing worse than having discomfort during pregnancy especially if it could be treated or prevented. Adding calamine lotion to your broken and itchy skin relieves the surface of the discomfort.

You can also apply it to other skin problems such as acne, dryness, eczema, psoriasis and as a normal moisturiser to improve complexion and quality of skin.

Calamine lotion can be found in most stores or in bulk quantities at cash and carry wholesale stores. If skin problems continue after the use of any treatments, there is a chance that your body is unable to cure itself of the infection. In such cases you would need to consult a dermatologist to find out the cause of the problem.

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Staying Safe While Behind The Wheel

There is nothing quite like being able to hit the road and experience a level of freedom in your own vehicle. While your car can offer you a chance to escape from the monotonous routine of your daily life, it is also important to keep basic maintenance in the forefront of your mind. When something goes wrong with your ride, it can lead to some serious financial problems and general frustration. In fact, you might discover that some aspects of maintenance are less obvious than others. This is especially true of areas like windshield glare.

When you are driving on a particularly sunny day, you might not be able to see the road in front of you. The sun can be harsh and unforgiving, and this can have a huge impact on your ability to see clearly while you’re driving. Instead of chalking this up to the way that it is, you might want to take action and discover the right solutions with Crystal Fusion Technologies. Explore the different ways to improve your driving experience and learn how to stay safe while you’re behind the wheel.

A Frustrating Glare

Sunlight on the windshield can be a serious threat. A sunny day is perfect for going to the beach, having a lazy picnic in the park, or simply soaking up some rays. Unfortunately, the sun is also incredibly bright at certain times during the year. When light bounces off or gets filtered through the glass on your windshield, it creates an obstruction that cannot be easily remedied. While you might try and put on some shades, you’ll discover that this solution only gets you so far. A real remedy is in order for a lasting fix.

Companies like Crystal Fusion Technologies have put a lot of time and energy into crafting solutions that aim to improve this situation. Cutting the glare on your windshield is not an easy task and you need to make sure that you are taking the right steps to see improved results. With the assistance of the best products on the market, you can use cutting edge technology to divert the rays of the sun in a way that does not upset your driving in the slightest. Research your options to discover the perfect fit.

Driving On

Staying safe while on the road is important for many reasons. People tend to go through routine maintenance for their vehicles to ensure that no unforeseen issues arise while behind the wheel. This usually takes care of areas like oil changes, tire rotations, and other important areas. Still, maintenance neglects issues that are inherent by design. Windshield glare cannot be fixed with regular maintenance. You need to go above and beyond to protect yourself when you’re on the road so be sure to look over your options.

There are many ways to protect yourself when you’re out driving in your car. When you are paying attention to all angles of your experience, it can be a lot easier for you to spot a problem in advance. Learn about how products by Crystal Fusion Technologies might be able to improve your experience by using windshield protective coating regards to windshield glare. Explore your options and you can find the best solution for your troubles.

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Various Health Benefits of Meditation

The ancient practice of meditation is gaining popularity again in modern times. As this practice goes main stream, more and more people are enjoying its benefits. Derived from the Sanskrit word ‘Dhyana’ meditation means attention and contemplation. It is a practice to help focusing the attention away from everything to achieve a relaxed state of peace and balance. This practice is designed to promote relaxation, develop love, patience and compassion and build internal energy to overcome stressful situations.

One of the reasons for growing popularity of meditation is the scientific research proving its amazing range of benefits and healing properties. It helps a person increase his focus, eliminate negative thoughts and anxiety. Here are some of the popular health benefits of meditation:

- Reduces Stress – Stress is the most common problem of people in present times. Meditation induces a state of relaxation which is helpful in reducing stress and anxiety levels. It restores the emotional balance which will help in enhancing self-esteem, increase awareness and optimism.

- Deals with Chronic Pain – Meditation helps in reducing pain of patients suffering from chronic pain.

- Improves Sleep – It helps in improving sleep quality and cures the symptoms of amnesia.

- Improves Immunity – When the body is relaxed and stress free, the immune system is able to prepare itself to fight against various diseases.

- Provides relief from Blood Pressure and Heart Ailments – Simple daily practice of meditation can help in lowering blood pressure which will reduce the risk of hypertension. Over the time, the heart rate can also be lowered, improving the cardiovascular system. Research has proved that it has helped in managing heart diseases in many patients.

- Improves Concentration – It helps in increasing the strength and focus of your attention. It can help you think better and generate more new ideas.

- Generates Compassion – It can help to increase positive feelings and actions towards others. By practicing meditation, people learn to extend kindness and develop forgiveness.

- Helps in Fighting Addictions – The discipline developed through meditation helps in increasing self control, awareness and breaking dependencies. Research has shown that it helps people in redirecting attention, increase willpower and control impulses. It helps in developing discipline to avoid triggers for unwanted things and fight and recover from addiction.

The importance of meditation can be felt never like before in present times. With routines getting busier and more and more stressful, meditation is a good driving force that can help people cope up with the intricacies of modern lifestyle.

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Remove Unwanted Facial And Body Hair Using Laser Treatment

Removing unwanted hair is time-consuming and repetitive no matter what your preferred hair removal technique is, and whether you shave, pluck, wax, thread or use depilatory creams, the hair will always grow back. You’ll find the skin on your face is sensitive, and constantly using harsh hair removal treatments can cause a great deal of skin irritation.

All women have hair on the face, usually it’s fair and fine and is difficult to see, but those with darker hair are not so lucky. You will find that most of your female friends have the same issues when it comes to unwanted facial hair. The hair on the upper lip, chin, cheeks and sideburns can all be very embarrassing and cause you a great deal of insecurity. It seems that every time you think you’ve disposed of unwanted hair, you’ll find more of it sprouting up somewhere else, and even after you get rid of the hairs, they just grow back.

You can cover up your excess hair in areas that aren’t constantly exposed, but the hair on your face is always on display, and it can seem as though everyone is always looking at the hairs on your upper lip, chin or sideburns. A good way to get rid of unwanted hair is with laser hair removal.

Benefits of laser hair removal:

It permanently reduces hair safely
It’s a fast treatment time
The results will boost your self-confidence
Prevents razor bumps and irritation
Laser treatment causes only minimal discomfort
Laser energy gets absorbed by the pigment in the hair follicle, and this laser energy is then converted to heat, causing thermal damage to the follicle without harming the surrounding skin. This results in hair growth being stopped in the damaged follicle.
Generally for white skin you’ll need around 6 treatments, spaced 4-6 weeks apart, and this usually results in 80% of hair removal. Darker or black skin may need around 8 treatments, resulting again in 80% of hair removed.

Most clients experience minimal discomfort; some may experience a minor stinging or pinching sensation on the skin as we deliver the laser pulses, but we can offer topical anaesthetic cream to make treatments more comfortable.

Although we can perform laser hair removal treatment on white or black skin, lasers only work on hair which has pigment, because it absorbs the laser light and allows the heat to build up and diffuse throughout the follicle to destroy it. Therefore it’s not possible to treat white, grey, and blond hair by laser.

If you need help choosing a cosmetic procedure, we provide an extensive range of cosmetic procedures for the face and body: Botox, Vaser Lipo, Lip Augmentation, Dermal Fillers and many more treatments, to help create a younger, slimmer, more youthful looking you!

The Selston Cosmetic Clinic is located in Selston, Nottingham, where we offer a bespoke service with a personalised touch and deliver high client satisfaction. We have been involved in the cosmetic industry for over 10 years

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